Worrying
Your child seems worried. Perhaps they ask the same questions again and again, need lots of reassurance, avoid something that feels difficult or find it hard to stop thinking about what might happen.
You may want to reassure them, help them face what is worrying them or find a way to make things feel easier. But it isn't always obvious what will help, especially when the same worries keep returning.
Let's take a moment to understand what might be happening and explore what could be useful for your child and your family.
What does worrying look like for your child?
Worry doesn't look the same in every child. You might recognise one of these situations, several of them or something quite different.
They keep asking if everything will be okay
Your child may ask repeated questions, look for reassurance or find it difficult to feel settled even after you've answered.
They imagine what could go wrong
They may focus on things that might happen, worry about making mistakes or find uncertainty difficult to manage.
They avoid things that worry them
They may put off an activity, resist going somewhere or want to stay close to you when a situation feels difficult.
Worry starts to affect everyday life
You may notice difficulties around school, friendships, activities, bedtime or other parts of family life.
These are possible ways worry can show up, not a checklist or a way to diagnose anxiety. The important starting point is what you are noticing about your own child.
What might be behind the worry?
Worry can be connected to many different experiences. Your child may be facing something unfamiliar, anticipating a difficult situation, dealing with a change or trying to make sense of something that matters to them.
Sometimes the worry is connected to a specific situation. At other times, it may be harder to work out what started it or why it keeps returning.
It can help to look beyond the worry itself and consider what your child may be finding difficult.
What are they worried might happen? If they can explain it, their answer may help you understand what feels difficult or uncertain.
When does the worry appear? Is it linked to particular situations, transitions, activities or times of day?
What happens when they feel worried? Do they ask questions, seek reassurance, withdraw, become upset or try to avoid the situation?
What seems to help? Notice whether anything makes the situation easier, even temporarily.
You may not be able to answer all these questions, and your child may not know how to explain what they feel. You don't need to force an explanation. These are ways to begin understanding their experience, not a test you have to complete.
What could you try next?
When your child is worried, it is natural to want to make the worry go away. Reassurance may help in the moment, but if the same worry keeps returning, you may find yourself wondering what else might be useful.
There isn't one response that works for every child or situation. Depending on what you have noticed, you might explore:
Understanding your child's worry
Take some time to understand what feels difficult to your child, what they think might happen and what they may need help making sense of.
Thinking about reassurance
Notice what happens when you reassure your child. Does it help them settle, or does the same question return soon afterwards? This can give you something useful to reflect on without assuming that reassurance is always helpful or unhelpful.
Considering the next small step
If your child is avoiding something, it may help to understand what makes it difficult before deciding what to do next. You can consider possibilities without rushing them or expecting the worry to disappear immediately.
Exploring further resources
You may want to explore the anxiety and worry resources for more detailed information, activities and approaches to consider.
Choose what seems most relevant to your child's situation. You don't need to try everything at once.
When you may need more support
Occasional worries are part of life, but it can be difficult to know what to make of them when they persist or begin to affect everyday activities.
If your child's worries are ongoing, causing significant distress or making it difficult for them to take part in everyday life, you may want to speak with an appropriate health or education professional about the support available.
You don't need to wait until you have worked out exactly what is happening before asking for advice.
General parenting information can help you explore possibilities, but it cannot assess an individual child's needs.
Start with what your child is experiencing
You don't have to make every worry disappear or find the perfect response straight away.
Begin with what you've noticed. Try to understand what feels difficult for your child, explore the possibilities that seem relevant and consider what might help next.
Sometimes understanding a little more is a useful place to start.